Muscling past a flat script, a big-screen 'Masters of the Universe' embraces its own silliness

What volition today’s kids deliberation of He-Man, the muscle-bound ’80s relic with the astir iconic bob aft Anna Wintour? Launched successful an epoch wherever machismo meant a goofy wrestler oregon metallic vocalist with an eight-octave falsetto, the steroidal beskirted barbarian has ever been a spot ridiculous. C’mon, his sanction is He-Man. What successful the testosterone is that?

And so, manager Travis Knight (“Bumblebee”) has made his reboot of “Masters of the Universe” a dopey, affable drama astir modern masculinity successful situation with a He-Man who openly wonders what benignant of a antheral to be. Hurtled retired of the kingdom of Eternia arsenic a boy, this Prince Adam (a terrifically crippled Nicholas Galitzine) came of property successful Oklahoma City arsenic a saccharine feline who happens to beryllium obsessed with swords. Instead of transforming into the strongest antheral successful the postulation to support his throne from the evil duo of Skeletor (voiced by Jared Leto) and Evil-Lyn (Alison Brie), earthbound Adam parries HR complaints portion sitting down a table sheet that labels his sex individuality not arsenic He-Man but He/Him.

Times person changed. Even He-Man’s talking favored tiger (Tom Wilton) asks for consent earlier giving him a lick.

Galitzine’s He-Man is much Clark Kent than Superman, a gentle, funny, under-estimated dweeb. On a unsighted date, his descriptions of magical griffins and burning deserts dependable humiliatingly immature. Dumped earlier dessert, helium sulks location wherever his bro-y roommate (Christian Vunipola) secretly watches the weepie “The Notebook” erstwhile nary 1 is looking arsenic the soundtrack spins an acoustic screen of the Cure’s “Boys Don’t Cry.” Every antheral successful this movie has a nationalist persona and a backstage one. Even Adam’s irritable pistillate boss, Suzie (Sasheer Zamata), hides nether a people-pleasing mask. “This is my mega-serious face,” she says with an unnerving grin.

The performances are good; the plot, postcard-sized: Adam returns to Eternia, unleashes his alter-identity He-Man and wrestles with the unit to unrecorded up to his caller biceps. Although Adam indispensable rescue his royal parents (James Purefoy and Charlotte Riley) from Skeletor, helium reaches for empathy earlier a blade. Could Skeletor truly beryllium that bad, helium asks his puerility person Teela (Camila Mendes). “He has a skull for a face,” Teela insists. In this world, everyone’s measured against their looks.

Here’s different question: Could Skeletor truly beryllium Jared Leto? Physically, of people not. Skeletor is each pixels with a clattering jaw cleanable for chewing the scenery. (The bully is particularly hilarious erstwhile the communicative transplants him to an mean weight-lifting gym — telephone him Skele-Chad.) Leto’s grumbling Brit-inflected baritone is an unrecognizable concoction of trilled r’s and plummy vowels — and the champion show he’s done successful years. With apologies to Bette Midler, you should perceive the gravitas Leto brings to calling his minions “the buttworms beneath my feet.”

Yes, that’s the wit level of the dialogue. Chris Butler, Aaron Nee, Adam Nee and Dave Callaham person written a heavy-handed publication successful which, erstwhile Castle Grayskull comes nether attack, Idris Elba’s worker is forced to yell, “We’re nether attack!” You know, successful lawsuit the exploding laser beams weren’t obvious.

Obviousness is this film’s handicap — and the main joke. In this movie’s lore, juvenile Adam, played by an adorable Artie Wilkinson-Hunt, is the blameworthy kid who invented his meathead He-Man moniker, arsenic good the nicknames of his allies Ram-Man, Mekaneck and Fisto, who each look precisely arsenic they dependable to their chagrin. “I don’t fist anyone,” Fisto (Jóhannes Haukur Jóhannesson) protests. The grown-ups successful the assemblage snicker.

Knight was a kid himself erstwhile the cartoon mentation of “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe” debuted connected television. As with his “Transformers” spin-off “Bumblebee,” helium makes movies similar a kid who loves taking his enactment figures retired of the container and giving them a silly soul.

He’s nary hack: Knight’s debut film, “Kubo and the Two Strings,” was nominated for an Academy Award for animation. Raised with an affection for brands (his father, Phil Knight, is the co-founder of Nike), helium besides feels obliged to see truthful overmuch instrumentality work for his procreation that kids volition person to swashbuckle done confusing callbacks to observe He-Man for themselves. One conflict country is scored to 4 Non Blondes’ “What’s Up?” simply arsenic a motion to a He-Man mash-up video that went viral backmost successful 2005, a clash arsenic wonky arsenic it sounds. Yet Daniel Pemberton’s opening taxable euphony is simply a rousing crescendo of stadium stone synthesizers. You tin perceive Queen guitarist Brian May successful the people — not simply arsenic an influence. It’s really him.

Culturally, hyper-machismo has oscillated from chill to lame to ironically chill and backmost again for decades. Even Queen itself was deemed lame until “Wayne’s World” resurrected “Bohemian Rhapsody” arsenic headbanging slapstick. If you spot a feline swaggering similar a brute from Eternia connected the sidewalk, masked oregon not, helium astir apt thinks he’s much awesome than everyone other does. Likewise, erstwhile He-Man smashes skulls to a wailing metallic soundtrack, I nary longer cognize if I’m meant to beryllium snickering with the electrical guitars oregon astatine them. Neither does the movie, which seems to determine each scene’s idiosyncratic code connected a coin flip.

Frankly, the dorky mentation of Adam is much amusive than the heroic He-Man, adjacent with Knight hammering america each infinitesimal to laughter that he’s a full weakling. Galitzine embraces the indignity. Zooming done the aerial successful a flying Sky-Sled, helium wedges his look into a triple chin. Dazed and enthusiastic, Galitzine’s quality charm counterbalances Eternia’s synthetic feel, a blandscape of agleam forests and cliffside dungeons that looks dated — not to 1983 but to past decade’s greenscreen-heavy would-be phantasy franchises similar “Clash of the Titans” and “John Carter.”

Please don’t marque Galitzine bash 5 of these movies, adjacent though he’s precise good. An unusually beauteous starring antheral who is quirkier and funnier than helium looks, Galitzine is the benignant of rising endowment Hollywood seldom knows however to handle. In his erstwhile roles, helium gave disconnected the content of being flummoxed by his ain attractiveness, whether arsenic a queer prince (“Red, White & Royal Blue”), a Harry Styles-esque popular prima (“The Idea of You”) oregon a fashionable shot jock whose precocious schoolhouse classmates are oblivious that helium has the IQ of a second-grader (“Bottoms”). Here, Galitzine multiplies that self-conscious gag times a thousand, visibly dazzled by his ain six-pack erstwhile helium transforms from himbo to gym-bro. Even Skeletor is agog implicit the “big agelong sword dangling betwixt his thighs.”

Smartly cast, Galitzine could beryllium to person the imaginable of Brad Pitt, different blond hunk who longed to get weird, chafing against roles that made him instrumentality disconnected his garment until helium deed 55 and realized it was a flex. But shouldering a wobbly, costly summertime tentpole is simply a hazard — conscionable inquire Sam Worthington oregon Taylor Kitsch. If “Masters of the Universe” tanks, here’s hoping Galitzine summons the spot to excavation himself retired of the rubble.