Ice Cream Man Review

Ice Cream Man volition beryllium released successful theaters connected August 7.

Eli Roth is nary alien to violence. Over the people of his career, from directing unrelentingly gruesome films similar Hostel and the darkly amusive yet forgettable caller Thanksgiving to playing a little yet memorable portion successful Inglorious Basterds, he’s made humor and viscera the materials with which helium paints. Sometimes, this has yielded results you can’t assistance but beryllium begrudgingly captivated by, wherever the much the humor runs, the much you can’t bring yourself to look away. Still, successful galore different cases (looking astatine you, Cabin Fever and The Green Inferno), it’s felt similar Roth was shamelessly lifting ideas from older, acold amended movies without adding thing new. Rather than feeling similar homage, they’re person to mediocre imitation. Instead of being remotely horrifying, the scariest happening astir a increasing fig of Roth’s films — erstwhile they aren’t outright disasters similar the baffling Borderlands — is however derivative they are.

Such is the lawsuit with Ice Cream Man, Roth’s archetypal movie directed nether his company, The Horror Section. Not to beryllium confused with the 1995 fearfulness movie of the aforesaid sanction starring Clint Howard, this is simply a movie astir the dangers of consuming excessively overmuch crystal pick that itself feels similar it’s gobbled up excessively galore past fearfulness films and puked them out. However, what’s unusual this clip astir is however his latest is not conscionable indebted to fearfulness of the distant past, but caller genre hits similar the Terrifier bid and Zach Cregger’s Weapons. It’s erstwhile much not astir arsenic bully arsenic either of those, lacking the chaotic madness of Art the Clown successful its slayer and the much haunting yet humorous patience with which Cregger approached his stellar fearfulness film. Instead, it’s conscionable a sporadic smashing unneurotic of some of them, bringing unneurotic murderous kids trapped successful a trance of immoderate kind, and a soundless though acold little entertainingly expressive slayer pulling their strings. The superior difference? The crushed for the kids becoming murderous involves eating crystal cream.

Credit wherever recognition is due: This is not the worst premise connected paper, and adjacent sounds similar it could beryllium the commencement of a much campy, cheeky fearfulness romp. Unfortunately, Roth ne'er makes the astir of this potential, resulting successful a movie that’s truly inexpensive and little than clever. This cheapness extends some to the mode it each looks arsenic good arsenic the mode it’s constructed. From the opening moments surrounding a shot crippled that volition soon beryllium the past immoderate successful this municipality ever play, it feels similar you’re watching a YouTube sketch alternatively than an immersive fearfulness film. There isn’t immoderate richness oregon texture to the images, astir of the scenes are bizarrely overlit, and lines of dialog consciousness painfully cringeworthy successful a mode that lone seems fractional intentional. The much that it goes on, the much the full happening proves inescapably awkward and stiff alternatively than playfully unhinged. Even erstwhile a quality aboriginal gets their cranium removed truthful that their encephalon tin beryllium scooped retired and fed backmost to them, it elicits small much than a shrug. It’s a movie that inflicts plentifulness of caput trauma but yet reveals itself arsenic having nary existent brains of its own.

Charlie Storey arsenic Piper successful Ice Cream Man. Photo: The Horror Section 2026

At the halfway of it each is young Jared (Charlie Zeltzer), who — contempt being lactose intolerant — volition inactive beryllium tormented by the titular Ice Cream Man (Ari Millen) aft helium unleashes what is fundamentally a curse connected the different peaceful Bayleen Bay. There’s a vaguely Stephen King-esque consciousness to the town, but we rapidly recognize however constricted successful scope it each is. Rather than consciousness similar a existent spot populated by memorable characters oregon with absorbing environments for the fearfulness to play retired in, it’s each alternatively unimaginative and conscionable astir getting to the adjacent burst of violence, which often does beryllium genuinely gruesome. Parents are murdered successful their beds by their children, the schoolhouse becomes a tract of bloody violence, and the municipality is revealed arsenic having a darker broadside that the assemblage has (futilely) tried to support hidden. Some of this is sufficiently preposterous, with kills involving microscopes, a ladder, and adjacent a Segway each bringing plentifulness of humor to the table.

That’s wherever the movie seems to beryllium attempting to beryllium much similar Terrifier, but wherever that movie — for each its flaws and ain budgetary limitations — boasted large performances successful pb Lauren LaVera and David Howard Thornton arsenic Art himself, arsenic good arsenic a existent consciousness of go-for-broke mania, there’s thing present that brings the indispensable vigor to marque this thrust travel alive. Instead, we get Roth himself playing Jared’s begetter and delivering lines like, “Dare I say, helium gives maine the chills,” successful notation to the Ice Cream Man, which repeatedly autumn flat. Were the movie much playful throughout, possibly moments similar this could work; instead, this enactment lands awkwardly and is followed by 1 of the astir genuinely unusual dubbed lines you’ll ever perceive erstwhile Roth’s quality turns away. It’s each much amateurish than it is darkly absurd, giving you a “we person Terrifier astatine home” feeling.

The Ice Cream Man is nary Art the Clown oregon Aunt Gladys, and Roth is nary fearfulness auteur.“

Most disappointingly, erstwhile it comes to what this fearfulness movie attempts to service up, determination conscionable isn’t that overmuch to chew on. It’s ne'er rather creatively ridiculous capable to spell disconnected the rails, and the scenes wherever we’re spoon-fed mounds of alternatively unnecessary exposition grind everything to a halt. Where the grim pleasures to beryllium recovered successful Weapons were balanced by a creeping consciousness of dread, Roth’s Ice Cream Man doesn’t gain either. It occasionally gestures towards playing astir with immoderate animated sequences, lone for those to autumn by the wayside. For each it throws astatine the partition to spot what sticks, the aboveground stays beauteous bare. Despite moving little than 90 minutes, you volition consciousness the length; a abrupt swerve to dive into the backstory of its slayer conscionable results successful a dreary drawn-out explanation.

In the end, contempt however desperately it attempts to replicate what’s been done amended elsewhere, the Ice Cream Man is nary Art the Clown oregon Aunt Gladys, and Roth is nary fearfulness auteur. Where Weapons was restrained earlier ending with a bang, providing a acheronian cherry connected apical with 1 of the astir satisfying yet sinister endings of caller memory, this movie fails to physique successful immoderate entertaining mode and conscionable leaves you with a consciousness of emptiness. The lone existent revelation that you travel distant with is that you could astir apt wholly skip this meal, including the dessert that is supposedly truthful important, and not miss much. You won’t beryllium screaming successful either joyousness oregon fear, but you will unfastened your rima to yawn.