How we remember our parents, and ourselves, is at the heart of Ben Stiller's dreamlike documentary

Ben Stiller has made a lovely, dreamlike movie astir his parents, the comedian-actors Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara, which is besides a movie astir himself, his sister, Amy Stiller, and his ain fatherhood arsenic reflected backmost by his children and his wife, the histrion Christine Taylor. Premiering Friday connected Apple TV, “Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost” is simply a amusement concern story, successful ample part, but volition beryllium emotionally acquainted to anyone who has had the juncture to wonderment astir their parents’ lives, successful their parents’ absence.

Though some had acceptable retired to beryllium actors — “I carried Eleanora Duse’s beingness nether 1 arm,” says Anne, “and ‘An Actor Prepares,’ Stanislavski, nether the other” — Jerry had been reasoning of getting into drama erstwhile helium met Anne. They joined successful 1954, but it wasn’t until 1963 that the conjoined vocation of Stiller and Maera took off, with an quality connected “The Ed Sullivan Show.” They mightiness play the past 2 radical connected Earth gathering for the archetypal time, oregon an Irish miss and a Jewish lad matched by machine dating. He was a fretful perfectionist who would endlessly rehearse; Anne was people funny; she flowed.

As documentary subjects go, the Stillers were not remarkably dysfunctional — nary violence, nary skeletons — past the not uncommon concern of parents whose work, oregon fixation connected work, often took them distant from their kids, physically oregon mentally, with the added fillip of that enactment having made them famous. (There are references to Anne’s drinking, which bothered Jerry, but this is not a spread the movie runs down, and there’s thing present to suggest it diminished her beingness oregon work.) As antithetic radical with antithetic goals — “My ma wanted to beryllium blessed autarkic of performing,” says Ben, “and I deliberation for my dada performing was truthful important to him it was portion of his happiness” — determination was tension, but they loved each other, and they loved their kids, and stayed joined for 62 years, until Anne’s decease successful 2015.

Stiller frames the movie with his and Amy’s instrumentality to the Upper West Side flat wherever they were raised successful bid to wide it retired to beryllium sold, providing the accidental to spot what their parents had near behind. (Jerry died successful 2020.) And it was a batch — thing is mislaid if thing is thrown away. There are emotion letters, diaries, scripts, manuscripts. (Anne: “I deliberation Jerry has a request to support his sanction going and for immoderate crushed helium thinks that erstwhile we cheque retired and walk implicit that the Smithsonian institute is going to privation his memorabilia.”) Jerry had a habit, amounting to a compulsion, of documenting their beingness connected movie and tape; immoderate of their conversations, and arguments, would crook into routines. (“Where does the enactment extremity and the matrimony begin?” Anne wonders.) Raised voices successful different country mightiness beryllium rehearsing oregon fighting. One regular consisted of escalating declarations of hate: “I hated you earlier I met you.” “I hated you earlier you were born.”

They discontinue playing nightclubs successful 1970 (they drove her “meshuggah”), but remained successful nationalist presumption — successful impermanent appearances, crippled shows and speech shows, where, dissimilar the highly managed appearances of today, they seemed acceptable to crockery the ungraded connected themselves, providing Ben Stiller with worldly for this film. And they went to enactment arsenic actors, each amassing a agelong database of surface and signifier appearances. Jerry, of course, is present champion known from “Seinfeld,” wherever helium played George’s father, Frank Costanza, and “The King of Queens,” acting successful astir 200 episodes.

Much of it has to bash with Ben and Amy arsenic children of celebrated people, of household vacations that became moving vacations, and increasing up connected display. In 1 clip from “The Mike Douglas Show,” the siblings execute “Chopsticks” arsenic a screechy violin duet. Young Ben, already funny successful movie and asked by an interviewer if his parents volition diagnostic successful his movies, says that they won’t: “I’ll beryllium making escapade oregon a execution oregon thing similar that, but ne'er a comedy. I don’t similar comedy.”

We get glimpses of Stiller’s ain prolific vocation — successful comedy, mostly, arsenic it turned retired — arsenic good arsenic confessions of his ain failings arsenic a household man. (His children, Quin and Ella, get to person their good-humored but penetrating say, arsenic does Taylor, from whom helium separated successful 2017, and with whom helium reunited during the pandemic.) But there’s nary evident resentment connected the portion of Ben and Amy, conscionable curiosity and self-examination arsenic adults whose ain lives person taught them thing astir being adults, amid the cognition that their parents had parents, too, and immoderate of their imperfections became imperfections of their own.

Both Anne and Jerry had travel from acheronian places. “Their lives were ever reaching for the light,” says the playwright John Guare, whose achromatic drama “The House of Blue Leaves” Anne performed successful off-Broadway. “Why don’t you go a stagehand?” Jerry’s begetter told him erstwhile Jerry archetypal told him of his ambition. “Where bash you get disconnected trying to beryllium Eddie Cantor?” Anne’s parent died by suicide. “Your begetter was benignant of a saint, you know,” Christopher Walken tells Ben.

Stiller’s attack is musical; his assembly of clips and photos is philharmonic — poetic, not prosaic. He ends his movie with a speech betwixt Jerry and his aged father, Willie, chopped to a montage of the household done time.

“Isn’t this amended than anything, conscionable being alive?” says Jerry. “When we go, we’ll spell together, you and me”

Willie: “Yeah, OK, clasp hands and everything else.”

“You’ll instrumentality maine to shows again erstwhile we get up there?”

“Yeah, erstwhile I spell I’ll instrumentality you immoderate place. … What is this?”

“It’s a portion recorder. ... Whatever you accidental is connected that tape. They’ll perceive you forever. You’ll ne'er beryllium lost.”

And we spot young Ben, filming a camera that’s filming him, arsenic his begetter steps successful down him.